the toronto song

As sung by Groucho Marx, actual composer unknown.

Mr. and Mrs. Klein,
They lived a life so fine,
Until the relatives came.
Uncle und tante Wolf,
Brought over the little Wolfs,
Like wolves they lived up to their name.
One week went by,
Klein started to cry,
It looks like the Wolfs mean to stay.
So he tells his wife one night,
That while they were sleeping tight,
Let's leave them, and we'll run away.

Say, it's better to run to Toronto,
Than to live in a place you don't want to.
With twenty wolves in front of me,
My house looks like a menagerie.

Imagine the cheek from the tante,
To bring all the Wolfs from Toronto,
And, oy, how they can eat,
At least a pound of meat.

Say, they take what they want, when they want to.
Just think what the bills will amount to.
Every day they are growing more and more.
They eat one meal a day, that's right,
They start in the morning and finish at night.
It's going to be a cold cold winter,
And I can't keep the Wolfs from the door.